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Weight Control Infocenter

DietBuddy Archives

Step 2 How You Got Here

by Dr. Jacob Mathew, Moderator, DietBuddy

As you recall, we are following the 16 steps to wellness given by Judy Molnar in her book, "You Don't Have to be Thin to Win."

Last week we looked at step 1, which is: 'Become aware.' The objective of this was to do a self examination to discover you. Now we want to do something with that information.

Today is our turn to look at Step 2.

Step 2 Review what got you to this point.

Molnar says that you need to know what to change in your life to accomplish your fitness goals.

"Before you can make any changes, you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. This is the most crucial step."

Spend some time contemplating on how you got to where you are today. Later we will talk about journaling, an excellent way to discover your self.

Once you start thinking, you will discover a lot about your self that you never paid any attention to before. Many people stop right there. We want to go one step further. It is a good idea to seek the opinion of others to get a balanced perspective. Talk to some of your close friends and family and listen carefully to what they say. Ask someone you respect. Talk to people who care about you and are supportive.

There is a benefit to asking others who cares about you for their opinion. They become your champions. Now you are not alone. Obviously, dietbuddies do this for you. People likes it when you asked them for help or for advice.

OK, what should you be asking? Judy gives an example. She talked to a close friend and coworker, Rob Martin about what things she should change about herself.

Rob did not say, "Lose weight." 
Instead, he said, "You need a consistent, positive attitude. You should work more on it. 
It is so easy to get up each morning and be negative. But it takes work to be positive."

Rob told Judy not to allow the environment around her to affect her attitude. She should control what she can and let the rest go. Don't dwell on the things you have no control of.

Stop and read that again. The secret to having a healthy body is to have a healthy mind-body-and-soul. That means we need to learn how to manage day to day frustrations and stress.

Look at the wholistic perspective.

This point is very important. We get stressed because we worry about things or events that we have no control of. We have to let them go. If you have no control on the outcome of an event, then worrying about it is not going to change it. All you are doing is to hurt yourself. I strongly recommend that you visit our stress management infocenter at


and read about managing stress. Managing stress is an integral part of improving your healthy lifestyle. (Take care of your lifestyle; weight will take care of itself.)

Very often we are our worst enemies. We evaluate us with a standard much higher than that we use to evaluate others. We need to learn to be a bit easy on ourselves. Use objective criteria to evaluate us. We need to forgive ourselves for past indiscretions so we can go forward rather than the past pulling us back.

That is why a friend may be able to tell us about our issues better than we can do it ourselves.

"I am easier with myself these days, more forgiving, more content. I have learned, for example, that there is Life After Cellulite. When I'm in the company of a model, I don't wish to have her figure. I've got my own, and it's perfectly nice- it's me, after all."

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, in her book My Story


Judy Molnar says that before she embarked on the healthy living, she delved on negativity. For example, she had started the conversation with Rob by saying,

"I'm in a good mood, but it won't last long."

Negativity and lack of self esteem was a real crutch for her. It was a driving force for her eating habits and poor fitness: "I can't go to a gym because I'm too big." Do you hear yourself talking or feeling like Judy?

Her lack of self esteem allowed others to take advantage of her. She said her boss would rail her for whatever was bothering him that day. Judy will listen to it; get upset; and then eat herself through it.

After self examination and with the help of Rob, Judy learned that she should confront her boss pointing out to him that the problem was his, not hers. Don't let someone else to vent their frustration on you.

Judy also learned from Rob that:

She needs to lighten up.
She needs to have more fun
She needs to enjoy the present moment, and be a bit more spontaneous. 
She needs to be herself twenty-four hours a day.

I am sure these apply to majority of us too.

Here are some action items:

Action Step 1: Start a Journal

One of the best ways to handle the stress and to discover yourself is to start a journal.

Write down the worries, concerns, or problems that you're afraid will distract you and promise yourself that you'll deal with them when you're done. Later in the program we will learn how we can use imagery and visualization to get rid of those nagging problems.

Judy says that writing a journal has helped her to work through her thoughts more clearly and to deal with the issues of the day. She could see herself on the pages of the journal.

Go to:


and read about writing a journal. It will take you step by step on how to do it and you can do it online.

It covers issues such as:

Getting Started 
What should I write about? 
How often should I write? 
What is the difference between different types of journals? 
How can a journal help me?

Go ahead and do it now. Get started.

Action Step 2: Learn about good and bad distractions. Use good distractions instead of bad.

You're bored: You eat. 
You're depressed: You eat. 
You're stressed: You eat. 
You're mad: You eat.

Sounds familiar? All of us do that. If we continue with this methodology, we will never get anywhere as far as weight control is concerned.

What we need is some other distractions to take our mind of from whatever is bothering us instead of food.

Here are 20 things you can do to keep your mind off the high-fat food you crave according to the Book, "Mind Body Fight Fat."

1. Drink two glasses of water. 
2. Brush your teeth and gargle. 
3. Take a walk. 
4. Take a nap. 
5. Take a bath. 
6. Call or write to the person who upset you. 
7. Go to a movie. 
8. Buy yourself a nonfood gift. 
9. Have sex. 
10. Snack on safe food such as an apple, rice cake, or carrot. 
11. Call a friend. 
12. Meditate. 
13. Eat some fruit. 
14. Leave the building for 10 minutes. 
15. Play on the computer. 
16. Catch up on office news with a co-worker. 
17. Walk to the watercooler, get a drink, and walk back. 
18. Go to the restroom and splash cool water on your face. 
19. Review your appointments for the upcoming week. 
20. Walk up a few flights of stairs.

Think of some other activities you can do to keep yourself occupied when you are stressed, worried, etc. And try to use them to keep your mind away from food craving.

Action Item 3: Start drinking a minimum of six eight-ounce glasses of water each day.

According to Bob Greene, the author of 'Get with the Program' there are several benefits of water:

1. Your metabolism functions better when you're fully hydrated.
2. Your digestion is improved when you drink enough water.
3. Water fills you up.
4. When you're dehydrated, you eat more.
5. Your exercise is much more effective if you're fully hydrated.
6. The more active you are, the fitter you become and the more water you need.

Each time you feel like reaching for a soda, reach for a glass of water instead.
Carry around a water bottle with you all the time so that when you want it you will have it with you.

Action Item 4: Read the article "Weight Loss for Life"

You can find it at:


The article goes over the keys to a successful weight loss program. It talks about making changes in your eating and physical activity habits that you can keep up for the rest of your life. It is a great article.

Action Item 5: Ask a friend to join DietBuddy Group. 

(Ask them to send an email to:
dietbuddy-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to subscribe to this group.)

We will all benefit from their knowledge, support, and mentorship.


Using Mind Control and reprogramming to lose weight permanently

Study concludes that obese kids will have Poor Quality of Life

Step 3 Setting Goals

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